Tag: Mental Health

Mental Health

Untitled by Kala S.

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Step right up. Take a ride you didn’t sign up for. A ride that no one else is taking, but they’re watching you, wondering why you’re getting on this ride, alone.

You get on this ride, no one to strap you in or give you the safety speech. You have no idea what’s going on. You don’t even know why you’re on this ride and you don’t know anything about it.

The incline is so fast, and yet so slow. You don’t have time to adjust. You only know that something may not be quite right, but again isn’t that how everything is? In fact, it almost feels good except for the loop-d-loops you’re on that send you into a crazed state of being.

The descent is slow and speeds up at the oddest points. You can’t keep up; when you think it’s okay, it’s not. When it seems it can’t get worse, it eases up. And remember, you’re on this ride alone, no one is helping. Everyone is just watching or walking on by.

When you get to what you think is the end, IT’S NOT! It’s just time to start all over. And this ride goes on and on. When you reach out for help, no one understands. To them it’s just a ride. A ride that you should just be able to get off of. A ride you shouldn’t have chosen to take.

A ride that you should be able to control.

book review · books · civil rights · crime · movie review · Racism

Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson {Book and Movie reviews}

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Blurb:

An unforgettable true story about the potential for mercy to redeem us, and a clarion call to end mass incarceration in America — from one of the most inspiring lawyers of our time.

Bryan Stevenson was a young lawyer when he founded the Equal Justice Initiative, a nonprofit law office in Montgomery, Alabama, dedicated to defending the poor, the incarcerated, and the wrongly condemned.

Just Mercy tells the story of EJI, from the early days with a small staff facing the nation’s highest death sentencing and execution rates, through a successful campaign to challenge the cruel practice of sentencing children to die in prison, to revolutionary projects designed to confront Americans with our history of racial injustice.

One of EJI’s first clients was Walter McMillian, a young Black man who was sentenced to die for the murder of a young white woman that he didn’t commit. The case exemplifies how the death penalty in America is a direct descendant of lynching — a system that treats the rich and guilty better than the poor and innocent.

Review:

Let start by saying, it took me a minute to get my emotions together after finishing the book and watching the movie. This was the first time I ever read the book and watched its movie right after. This was also the first book about this subject that I introduced to my son. He found it very informative but also sad.

While the focus of the movie is on the Walter McMillian case, the book focuses on that case and the many cases of others on death row facing similar or worse fates than Walter.

Before I decided to read this book with my son, I had a pretty strong opinion about death row. I was a person who thought that it was a waste of money to let those on death row have such long sentences before being put to death. After reading this book, my opinion has most definitely changed. I see why they have long sentences. If it weren’t for those long sentences, so many would not have the chance to fight for their freedom or lesser sentences.

The writers and director of the film did such an amazing job with the casting and how the movie was done. There were some noticeable things that were either changed or left out, but it didn’t take away from what was there.

Not only did Walter’s story tug at my emotions, so did the story of Herbert Richardson. A man who fought for this country and was damaged mentally. While he did commit his crime, being punished by being put to death because the justice system isn’t equipped with handling suspects with mental or emotional illness is unacceptable. Had the military and the justice system done better, he would have had the change to repent from his crime while also getting the help that he needed.

Stevenson did a great job bringing to light about the many children that have been sent to death row when they aren’t even close to being the age of 18. Having to spend their lives in prisons when they are at an age where they don’t even fully comprehend what is being done to them. This also shows how horrifying the justice system can be. Some of these children didn’t even commit the crimes that they are accused of or they have committed crimes that adults aren’t even being sent to death row for. The children go in traumatized and if they are lucky enough to come out they are in even worse conditions. It’s even worse for those who have already been damaged.

I would highly recommend both reading the book and watching the movie. This book is great on audio and is narrated by Stevenson.

Rating;

4 Golden Girls

Availability:

Available now in hardcover, paperback, ebook, and audiobook

addiction · Blog Tour · book review · books · contemporary fiction · diversity · Family · love · reading · secrets · Women's fiction

Judge’s Girls {Suzy ‘s Approved Book Tours}

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Blurb:

Beloved Georgia judge Joseph Donaldson was known for his unshakable fairness, his hard-won fortune–and a scandalous second marriage to his much-younger white secretary. Now he’s left a will with a stunning provision. In order to collect their inheritance, his lawyer daughter Maya, her stepmother Jeanie, and Jeanie’s teen daughter, Ryder, must live together at the family lake house. Maya and Jeanie don’t exactly get along, but they reluctantly agree to try an uneasy peace for as long as it takes…

But fragile ex-beauty queen Jeanie doesn’t know who she is beyond being a judge’s wife–and drinking away her insecurities has her in a dangerous downward spiral. Fed up with her mother’s humiliating behavior, Ryder tries to become popular at school in all the wrong ways. And when Maya attempts to help, she puts her successful career and her shaky love life at risk. Now with trouble they didn’t see coming–and secrets they can no longer hide–these women must somehow find the courage to admit their mistakes, see each other for who they really are–and slowly, perhaps even joyfully, discover everything they
could be. 

Review:

A story about grief and how three women who loved the same man in different aspects deal with his unexpected death.

Maya, who is Judge’s daughter from his first marriage has now lost both parents and the grief of her father’s passing is devastating. But because of the morals and ethics her father instilled in her, she pushes forward and her grieving is limited. This is a situation that a lot of people find themselves in and don’t really know how to handle their grief and because of that, their grief bleeds into other parts of their lives.

Jeanie who is Judge’s second wife has let grief completely overtake her to the point of self destructive behavior. I could almost relate to the pain that she was going thru even though at times I felt she was playing the victim a bit too much at times.

Ryder who is Jeanie’s daughter and Judge’s stepdaughter is caught between her own grief and hiding her mother’s destructive behavior from Maya.

Each woman must learn how to grieve and how to get along. Maya and Jeanie must learn how to do this without depending on Ryder to be their buffer. She has her own issues as a teenager to deal with on top of losing the man she knew as her father.

This was a good story to show that people deal with grief differently and that families can still come together. Having lost both of my parents this was a story that I could definitely relate to.

Rating:

3 Golden Girls

A special thank you to Suzy’s Approved Book Tours for having me on this tour and to Kensington Books for my free copy in exchange for an honest review.

books · Mental Health · reading

Books, blogging, podcasting, and life

Kala1 Comment

If you have followed me for a little while, then you know that sometimes I like to just take time out and talk about life and books outside of reviewing. If you notice in the title of this post, I have added podcasting to my repetoire.

Life for most of the year has been an unbelievable shit storm for me, as it has been for most of the world. I knew for sure that 2020 would be my year. A new year? A new decade? What could be better than that? The ultimate form of a clean slate. However, 2020 had other plans in mind including a pandemic, living under a tyrannical president, and last but MOST DEFINITELY not least the fear of living while being black.

Books and reading are usually a form of escape for me but this year it has been different and I think that is due to the book community. I never knew that this community could become so political and I am not even talking literal politics. I am talking about the politics of the book world. I come to the book world to escape the politics of the real world, but too often lately I am finding myself witnessing some of the most ridiculous things. There is a lack of decorum when it comes to certain things. So many people are practically tap dancing for these publishers just to get a free book.

One thing about myself that is that what you see is what you get. I have made some minor changes since first starting but those have been changes that reflect my growth not overshadow my individuality or personality. Some people will do anything for clout and they are clogging up the feeds with utter nonsense. Where has the love of books and reading gone? Is it the pandemic that has made everyone go mad? I would like to think so, but deep down inside I know that is not true. Folks just want to be out here acting a damn fool for no good reason.

I also notice that some people think bringing more color onto their bookshelves will make them better people and that is not true. People need to understand that no matter how many books are read by people of color, the book world is not going to change the real world that we are in. That closing the pages of these books and saying how much more they understand isn’t making this world a better place. People also have to realize that you have to give folks room, space, and time to change. It is not something that is going to happen overnight and they don’t need to be criticized at every chance. Look how long it took for slavery to end, for black people to gain civil rights. Yet, we are still being treated like nothing and we are out here being killed. Those black squares and those readalongs of books hasn’t changed anything but follower counts. Both positively and negatively. Now, I won’t sit here and say that people are not out here doing anything because some are, not many but a few. And I thank them for that because we need all that we can get right now.

Let me talk about my podcast. I had been talking about starting my own podcast for a while so when George Floyd was murdered and some people I considered colleagues showed their true colors, I knew it was time to do my own thing. I am so happy that I did. I have been having a great time talking to fellow booklovers about books and life. I was on a roll when real life hit me and hit me hard. I had to take a moment and step back. But I am slowly getting back into it.

Another thing that I have noticed this year is the sheer amount of people suffering from depression and anxiety. I am one of those people. I am here to tell you that just because someone is posting on their page or participating in chats, doesn’t mean that they are not suffering. I found myself spiraling faster than I could keep up. Things are getting better but I am still not where I want or need to be. I sat and thought about the last time I was just genuinely happy and it has been about 3 years. The other day my dad said that he was glad to see me happy and I had to tell him that he was just seeing me on one of my few good days and that I still had a long road to go. It hurt me to tell him that but he needed to know the truth. The example I gave him so that he could understand the seriousness of someone suffering from mental illness even if their life seems all put together is Robin Williams. I think that just maybe he understood or we at least had a breakthrough momentarily. These days I take what I can get.

I chose that picture for this post for a reason. If you look closely and really know me, you know that is not just a resting bitch face. My eyes are dead. Void of all emotion. I look plain tired and beatdown even with the little bit of makeup. I believe that is how most of us are trying to survive right now.

Find your strength, stay strong. Find your happiness, hold on to it. MAKE SURE YOU VOTE! And if you really care about people, check on your friends and family. Sometimes you may need to check on a stranger too.

addiction · book review · books · Literary Fiction · love · Mental Health · reading · secrets

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman {ARC Review}

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Blurb:

This is a poignant comedy about a crime that never took place, a would-be bank robber who disappears into thin air, and eight extremely anxious strangers who find they have more in common than they ever imagined.

Viewing an apartment normally doesn’t turn into a life-or-death situation, but this particular open house becomes just that when a failed bank robber bursts in and takes everyone in the apartment hostage. As the pressure mounts, the eight strangers slowly begin opening up to one another and reveal long-hidden truths.

As police surround the premises and television channels broadcast the hostage situation live, the tension mounts and even deeper secrets are slowly revealed. Before long, the robber must decide which is the more terrifying prospect: going out to face the police, or staying in the apartment with this group of impossible people. 

Review:

Great story. This story makes you think about life and what’s important. The thing I loved most about this story is that Backman shines a light on mental health and how it affects people differently. What extremes they go thru to hide or deny it and what extremes they go thru to not deal with it at all. There are some funny and endearing moments in this novel which is not unusual for a Backman novel.

As a person who deals with anxiety and depression on more occasions than I care to admit or think about, I felt seen with this story. This is one of those stories where nothing is as it seems. You go in thinking the story will go one way, but it turns a totally different direction and you are not disappointed by it because all along you are subconsciously thinking about so many things that you don’t realize you’ve been set on another path.

Backman’s story shows that you never know what someone is going thru and you never know how your interaction with people can affect them. Sometimes people can be saved but there is also the unfortunate reality that some think they are too far gone to be saved.

When reading a story by Backman, sometimes you find yourself thinking that this story is going all over the place. Who are all these people? How does any of this tie itself together? Well, it always does. Not necessarily in a neat little bow but definitely in a way that provides a conclusion that stays with you.

I recommend this book along with his other work. I am already looking forward to his next novel.

Rating:

I just outright loved and enjoyed this story.

Availability:

Available now in hardcover, ebook, and audiobook.

A special thank to Atria Books for my gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.

addiction · black literature · book review · books · dedication · diversity · Family · Literary Fiction · love · own voices review · reading

Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi {ARC Review}

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Blurb:

Yaa Gyasi’s stunning follow-up to her acclaimed national best seller Homegoing is a powerful, raw, intimate, deeply layered novel about a Ghanaian family in Alabama.

Gifty is a fifth year candidate in neuroscience at Stanford School of Medicine studying reward seeking behavior in mice and the neural circuits of depression and addiction. Her brother, Nana, was a gifted high school athlete who died of a heroin overdose after a knee injury left him hooked on OxyContin. Her suicidal mother is living in her bed. Gifty is determined to discover the scientific basis for the suffering she sees all around her. 

But even as she turns to the hard sciences to unlock the mystery of her family’s loss, she finds herself hungering for her childhood faith, and grappling with the evangelical church in which she was raised, whose promise of salvation remains as tantalizing as it is elusive. Transcendent Kingdom is a deeply moving portrait of a family of Ghanain immigrants ravaged by depression and addiction and grief–a novel about faith, science, religion, love. Exquisitely written, emotionally searing, this is an exceptionally powerful follow-up to Gyasi’s phenomenal debut.

Review:

I want to start this book by saying that if you are going into this story thinking it is going to be parallel to Homegoing, let me stop you right there. This book is in no way the same type of story. Is this book just as heavy? It is. In my opinion, this book is heavier. I had to sit with this book for a few days to get my thoughts and feelings together because I just had and still have so many.

This story drew me into it in a way that is almost indescribable. Gyasi takes the subjects of faith, science, mental illness, addiction, and family and weaves them into a story that is heartfelt and heartbreaking at the same time. Your emotions are topsy turvy throughout the entire story. You have moments where you want to put the book down because it is almost too much to take in but you can’t because you want to know what is going to happen with each character.

I can never resist a story that makes me look at my own life and wonder how I would handle what the characters are dealing with. This story made me wonder how I would handle a family member’s addiction, the basic rejection of a parent’s love, and caring for a loved one with a depression so deep that you wonder if they are going to survive falling into that deep dark hole. I also never thought I would care so much about scientific research. Gyasi makes you care about it. She sneaks that feeling right into your heart.

This book was worth the wait and you will want to take your time reading it.

Rating:

All four Golden Girls

Availability:

Available September 1, 2020 in hardcover, ebook, and audiobook.

I want to say thank you to Knopf for my free copy in exchange for an honest review.

abuse · books · crime · diversity · Family · own voices review · reading · secrets

Saving Ruby King by Catherine Adel West {Review}

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Blurb:

Family. Faith. Secrets. Everything in this world comes full circle.

When Ruby King’s mother is found murdered in their home in Chicago’s South Side, the police dismiss it as another act of violence in a black neighborhood. But for Ruby, it means she’ll be living alone with her violent father. The only person who understands the gravity of her situation is Ruby’s best friend, Layla. Their closeness is tested when Layla’s father, the pastor of their church, demands that Layla stay away. But what are his true motives? And what is the price for turning a blind eye?

In a relentless quest to save Ruby, Layla comes to discover the murky loyalties and dark secrets tying their families together for three generations. A crucial pilgrimage through the racially divided landscape of Chicago, Saving Ruby King traces the way trauma is passed down through generations and the ways in which communities can come together to create sanctuary.

Saving Ruby King is an emotional and revelatory story of race, family secrets, faith and redemption. This is an unforgettable debut novel from an exciting new voice in fiction and a powerful testament that history doesn’t determine the present, and that the bonds of friendship can forever shape the future.

Review:

As a woman of color there aren’t very many books that I read that make me feel seen. This was one of those rare occasions. Catherine takes the subjects of family, church, and secrets to light in this debut. The personification of the church was my favorite part of this novel. It shows what I have felt for years. The church is just a building that people put so much faith in to keep them safe. It makes them feel protected but in actuality it is a place that holds some of the darkest secrets.

Catherine also takes on the subject of generational curses. She shows how they affect a whole family directly and indirectly. How ignoring them can lead to damage that is sometimes deadly.

The friendships that are in this novel are deep, loving, and toxic at the same time. There are secrets and actions between friends that test the limit of what being a friend truly means. People are taken advantage of, people are forced to live with secrets they wouldn’t even have to carry if their love for their friend wasn’t so deep. Some of these friendships had many unhealthy aspects to them. Especially the friendship between Lebanon and Jackson.

This story doesn’t have a fairytale ending and I appreciated that. It had a very realistic ending even if you wanted more for certain characters.

I am curious to see what Catherine Adel West does with her work in the future. I am looking forward to reading more by her.

Rating:

All four Golden Girls( 5 Stars)

Availability:

Available now in hardcover, ebook and audiobook.

addiction · Blog Tour · book review · books · Family · Historical fiction · love · reading · secrets · World War 2

Don’t Put the Boats Away by Ames Sheldon {Suzy’s Approved Book Tour}

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Blurb:

In the aftermath of World War II, the members of the Sutton family are reeling from the death of their “golden boy,” Eddie. Over the next twenty-five years, they all struggle with loss, grief, and mourning. Daughter Harriet and son Nat attempt to fill the void Eddie left behind: Harriet becomes a chemist despite an inhospitable culture for career women in the 1940s and ’50s, hoping to move into the family business in New Jersey, while Nat aims to be a jazz musician. Both fight with their autocratic father, George, over their professional ambitions as they come of age. Their mother, Eleanor, who has PTSD as a result of driving an ambulance during the Great War, wrestles with guilt over never telling Eddie about the horrors of war before he enlisted. As the members of the family attempt to rebuild their lives, they pay high prices, including divorce and alcoholism―but in the end, they all make peace with their losses, each in his or her own way.

Review:

Reading historical fiction is my thing. There was no question as to if I wanted to participate in this book tour.

This story is told from the perspectives of Harriet and Nat who are the siblings of Eddie who has been killed in World War 2. Both Harriet and Nat work their best to gain approval from their father. They each try to live in ways to appease him in order to fill the void that the loss of Eddie has left behind. This is difficult for them because they each have their own dreams they want to follow. During this story they both cave into their father’s expectations even at the risk of them being unhappy. Harriet is able to realize her unhappiness before long but it takes Nat a bit longer and because of that, he ends up in a situation that is not the best for him.

What I liked about this book is that it addresses the subjects of grief, PTSD, alcoholism, and depression. Each character has to face their own inner battles as well as the battles that their family members face. They face these battles with each other or at least they make attempts to do so.

Another interesting aspect of this story is that not only did World War 2 affect this family, so did World War 1. Both wars leave behind scars that the family has to work thru over time. The wars not only leave behind scars and secrets, they also leave behind determination and will.

Rating:

4 Stars

Availability:

Available now in paperback and ebook.

 

A special thank you to Suzy Approved Book Tours for having me along on this book tour and to She Writes Press for my free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

 

Blog Tour · book review · books · contemporary fiction · Family · reading

The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman {Blog Tour ARC Review}

Kala2 Comments

Blurb:

The only child of a single mother, Nina has her life just as she wants it: a job in a bookstore, a kick-butt trivia team, a world-class planner and a cat named Phil. If she sometimes suspects there might be more to life than reading, she just shrugs and picks up a new book.

When the father Nina never knew existed suddenly dies, leaving behind innumerable sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews, Nina is horrified. They all live close by! They’re all—or mostly all—excited to meet her! She’ll have to Speak. To. Strangers. It’s a disaster! And as if that wasn’t enough, Tom, her trivia nemesis, has turned out to be cute, funny, and deeply interested in getting to know her. Doesn’t he realize what a terrible idea that is?

Nina considers her options.

1. Completely change her name and appearance. (Too drastic, plus she likes her hair.)
2. Flee to a deserted island. (Hard pass, see: coffee).
3. Hide in a corner of her apartment and rock back and forth. (Already doing it.)

It’s time for Nina to come out of her comfortable shell, but she isn’t convinced real life could ever live up to fiction. It’s going to take a brand-new family, a persistent suitor, and the combined effects of ice cream and trivia to make her turn her own fresh page.

Review:

I absolutely loved this book. I loved everything about it from the storyline, the characters, and also the writing style. This is the first book in a very long time that had me wanting to annotate it because there were so many passages that made me laugh and so many things that Nina did that I could relate to in my life. I felt as if my life had been transposed onto paper without me actually writing or narrating it. I believe all booklovers will relate to Nina.

Abbi has taken the characteristics of a bookworm and written the perfect, quirky story highlighting those characteristics. She has also incorporated some real life issues such as anxiety and shows how it can affect someone’s life, and how you can share some of the most unique characteristics with family members you have never even met. Nina is living a typical bookworm life. Working in a bookstore, filling her time with activities, and filling her mind with knowledge, some of it only useful for her trivia nights and awkward conversations, lol.

Nina has spent her time building the perfectly scheduled life for herself but all that is thrown off-balance when she finds out about her father and falls for a man she thought she despised. Nina has to learn how to live life by rolling with the punches but also maintaining the part of herself that makes her so unique.

This is one of those books I want to go around give to all the true to heart bookworms I know. I knew I was going to enjoy this story but I had no idea how much I would love it. There is no better surprise than to be mind-blown from a highly anticipated read. Abbi Waxman has done it again with her writing and storytelling styles.

Rating:

5 Stars

Availibility:

Available July 9th in hardcover, ebook, and audio

A very special thank you to Berkely Publishing for having me along on this book tour.

abuse · Blog Tour · book review · contemporary fiction · love · reading · romance

The Flatshare by Beth O’Leary {Review}

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Blurb:

After a messy breakup, Tiffy needs a new place to live…and fast. In an act of desperation, she answers a strange ad from Leon, a night-shift worker, who needs some quick cash. Since he’s only in the apartment during the day and Tiffy works during the day, they won’t cross paths – they don’t even have to ever meet in person! Wacky as it is, this arrangement seems to work. The two begin to get to know each other through post-it notes, building a friendship as they move from quick reminders about trash day to deeper notes about their families and struggles with work and love. Soon both Tiffy and Leon are wondering if it is possible to fall in love with someone you’ve never met…and if so, is love a horrible idea if that person is already your roommate!

Review:

I am finding myself more and more attracted to the romance genre these days but only if they are contemporary romances. Although still a bit far from my reality, they are still relatable.

The Flatshare is a contemporary romance that has the element of rom-com while also addressing an issue that is unfortunately too familiar for many women, and sometimes men. You meet Tiffy who has just come out of a dreadful relationship and is looking to start over on her own. What you don’t realize at first is that her ex, Justin is not just your average crappy ex, he has other characteristics that leave a bitter taste in your mouth and want to wish indefinite harm on him. At the same time you have Leon, who is a hardworking man who is looking to get a better footing on the financial ground while maintaining what turns out to be a high maintenance romance with his girlfriend, Kay.

As both adults attempt to share the flat without actually meeting each other, things start falling into place for the perfect romance, but not without conflict.

With all that being said, the one thing that bothered me while reading this was the way Leon’s chapters were written. In fact, they bothered me so much that I tried reaching out to both the author and publisher to see if this style was intentional or if it was just an error in my review copy.  My fellow book nerds in the amazing book community on Instagram advised me that it is in fact a style of writing that is similar to The Bridget Jones’s Diary. I also received a response from the author and getting her insight about his chapters made me feel better and made me appreciate the style of writing more.

I still enjoyed the story itself but Leon’s chapters made for a read that was difficult for me just because it is a style that I am not used to. But that is the part of reviewing books is that you get out of your comfort zone.  If you are willing to overlook that style of writing,  this will be a great summer read. I enjoyed the amount of entertainment while also addressing serious conflict. I also appreciated the fact that both Tiffy and Leon were a more diverse pair than the typical contemporary romance pairs.

Rating:

3.5 Stars

Availability:

Available now in hardcover, ebook and audiobook

*A special thank you to Flatiron books for having me along on this blog tour and the free book in exchange for my honest opinion*